Quick trip down memory lane: eating paste

Most parents think their kid is already hot shit once they start making coherent noises. Everyone likes to imagine that their offspring really is a genius, but let’s be honest; why would the most gifted child on the planet be so concerned with eating paste? You know, a lot more kids are paste-eaters than you think.

"Want a nickle?" "Hell yeah, I do!" "Eat this paste!" "Sounds like a great idea!"

Just sayin'.

This leads me to a story: In the first grade, we occasionally paid a girl named Mandy a nickel to eat paste. I guess we got some twisted satisfaction out of this. (Don't judge me, she totally liked it.)

Every day we gave her the pocket change our parents gave us to buy child-sized cartons of juice and Mandy ate glue. (Man, I really hope it's not actually made out of horses. SNL said it was made out of horses.)

I wonder where Mandy is now? And more importantly, I wonder if she still likes paste?

Yeah. That was the whole story.